If you want to see pure hostility, go to the Politics section. People there are either ask incredibly stupid questions or say things that are so inflammatory that I am sure that they are reporting each other for abuse.
Parenting is one of those subjects that invites conflict. If you are doing what you feel is right for your child, there is bound to be someone who thinks you got it all wrong. I don't care if its whether or not to circumsize, breast or bottle or whatever, everyone has an opinion and they think that theirs is the best.
Sometimes I think there is too much information out there and it is too easily accessible. When I had my oldest (she is 18), there was no internet as we know it, parents had to muddle through on their own or just read piles of books and hope to make the best decisions for their children and if we had issues, hopefully, there were other mothers we could talk to.
There are times when I miss those days. Does there seem to be a great deal of hostility on Yahoo!Answers in the parenting section these days?
Yes. But is it really that surprising? People's kids are the most important thing in the world to them, people tend to be very invested in the way they parent, not everyone parents the same way, and so an opinion forum like this one is bound to leave some people feeling defensive. Some people, when feeling defensive, lash out and get hostile.
Not that I'm supporting hostility and rudeness. To the contrary, I tend to get on people's nerves because I sometimes come off as the civility police on here. But I do understand what triggers it.
edit -- Marilyn -- I agree about the politics section. Such a bummer, because I'd love some spirited debate about politics, but that section is so full of attacks and invective that looking for some intelligent spirited debate is a needle in a haystack situation.Does there seem to be a great deal of hostility on Yahoo!Answers in the parenting section these days?
People are very passionate about their children and tend to take it personally if people parent differently than they do. Everyone wants to be a good parent, so if they think they are being told they are not (even when that is not the case), they immediately become defensive.
And to think I was going to ask about piercing my daughter's ears.
People come on here because they want advice, but some people are very small I'm afraid and suffer from ';everybody sucks as a mom but me'; itis.
Keep asking questions. I don't really care about hostility from anonymous strangers over the internet.
P.S. You want hostility, visit the adoption section some time. They give you the thumbs down for telling how many kids you have.
Yes indeed!! Just have to ask if you should bottle feed your baby or if you should pierce your infant daughter's ears... and you'll get a lot of hate if you dont get deleted!
I dont know why.. usually people ask for advice of more experienced moms.. not hate... or judgement....
oh well.........
Yes
To Arianna
i asked the question about '; to pierce your infant daughter's ears...';
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Parenting today and in the early 1900s.?
I am doing some research into parenting styles today and those at the start of the twentieth century. Does any one know any good resources (books, web-sites, videos etc) on this topic, especially concerning the early 1900s?
Any help would be greatly appreciated. :)Parenting today and in the early 1900s.?
Here's a list of books
http://worldcat.org/search?q=su%3AChild+鈥?/a>
Subject =
Child rearing -United States -History - 20th centuryParenting today and in the early 1900s.?
Here you are
http://wfnetwork.bc.edu/berkeley/papers/鈥?/a>
http://www.amazon.com/s?ie=UTF8%26amp;keywords鈥?/a>
http://links.jstor.org/sici?sici=0022-24鈥?/a>
http://www.oah.org/pubs/magazine/family/鈥?/a>
http://www.birthpsychology.com/lifebefor鈥?/a>
http://muse.jhu.edu/journals/parergon/v0鈥?/a>
Any help would be greatly appreciated. :)Parenting today and in the early 1900s.?
Here's a list of books
http://worldcat.org/search?q=su%3AChild+鈥?/a>
Subject =
Child rearing -United States -History - 20th centuryParenting today and in the early 1900s.?
Here you are
http://wfnetwork.bc.edu/berkeley/papers/鈥?/a>
http://www.amazon.com/s?ie=UTF8%26amp;keywords鈥?/a>
http://links.jstor.org/sici?sici=0022-24鈥?/a>
http://www.oah.org/pubs/magazine/family/鈥?/a>
http://www.birthpsychology.com/lifebefor鈥?/a>
http://muse.jhu.edu/journals/parergon/v0鈥?/a>
What Can I Do? I Have Shared Parenting And Found Out He Has A Domestic Violence..
Ok.. This is going to be a little long.. But here goes.. October 2006.. My daughters dad took me to court for custody.. I was doing very bad at the time.. BUT.. I was taking good care of my daughter.. I wasnt working and living with an ex boyfriend.. They belittled me in court.. They didnt care that her dad wasnt around for the first 3yrs of her life!.. So I lost custody.. And now we do a shared parenting plan.. Her dad has called my townhouse complex several times making stuff up to try to get me evicted so I dont see my daughter.. I feel like I have to watch what I do all the time because he's after me.. I looked his record up online and seen a domestic violence.. I guess him and his wife made up because it said that it was dismissed.. But i was NEVER made aware of this.. And my daughter was there that night.. Also on his record is a protection order.. It says nothing about that being dropped.. So exactly what can I do about this?? If there is a protection order that would mean he has to stay away from her and the home of which my daughter lives.. So Im wondering what I can do about this.. I live in Ohio.. If that matters.. Thanks so much!What Can I Do? I Have Shared Parenting And Found Out He Has A Domestic Violence..
To change the custody agreement, generally you have to show a change of circumstances that affect the child. This domestic violence beef may have nothing to do with his wife and it may have no effect at all on your daughter's safety and well-being.
When you say that you were doing very bad at the time, that implies that you have some baggage too. If you have a history of drug or alcohol dependence, for example, a judge might still find that shared parenting is the way to go.
It's probably a lot better for your child if both you and the ex can stop looking for ways to cut the other out of her life. Shared parenting is the standard these days because a child needs two parents.
Try to find a way to get along. But if you have real evidence that your child is in danger, get a lawyer.
To change the custody agreement, generally you have to show a change of circumstances that affect the child. This domestic violence beef may have nothing to do with his wife and it may have no effect at all on your daughter's safety and well-being.
When you say that you were doing very bad at the time, that implies that you have some baggage too. If you have a history of drug or alcohol dependence, for example, a judge might still find that shared parenting is the way to go.
It's probably a lot better for your child if both you and the ex can stop looking for ways to cut the other out of her life. Shared parenting is the standard these days because a child needs two parents.
Try to find a way to get along. But if you have real evidence that your child is in danger, get a lawyer.
WHY DO WE GOOD PARENTS HAVE TO GET RETAUGHT PARENTING CLASSES?
WE'VE TAKEN CLASSES BEFORE WHEN KIDS WERE BORN AND NOW CPS THINKS WE NEED THIS AGIAN AT 50$ TWO CLASSES AND THERPY SO DUMB OF RULES...WHY DO WE GOOD PARENTS HAVE TO GET RETAUGHT PARENTING CLASSES?
for all the people that say she is doing something wrong. well a lot of the times cps gets called for no reason by a mad family member. then cps makes you jump through hoops to keep your kids. so dont say she is a bad mom. for you i am sorry that cps does these things. what state are you in. most states make cps pay if the parents have to do any thing that cost money. i had to take these classes and i agree with you they do not teach you any thing new so i dont even know why they make people take these classesWHY DO WE GOOD PARENTS HAVE TO GET RETAUGHT PARENTING CLASSES?
I don't understand the question. ... ...... ...... sorry. um, i took parenting classes when i was in a shelter for abused women, and read a lot of books, but the best advice I ever got was from Barbara and Dennis Rainey... www.familylife.com. I raised four boys by myself.
I'm not about to criticize you in any way, but... if you were doing your job as a parent why in the world would cps make you take parenting classes?
And what does ';so dumb of rules'; mean? Sorry, I guess you should rephrase your question but before that, maybe think about your situation. cps doesn't make you take parenting classes for nothing.
Obviously I don't know the specifics but if it is CPS forcing you to take these classes then they have a reason to believe that you are not the good parents you claim to be. I personally find it a comfort to know that when an offender has a child, they are having proper guidance istead of being dismissed as a past offender. It may be annoying and you may be a good parent now, but I must wonder how many kids have fallen through the cracks in the past.
something must of happened to involve CPS. All I can tell you is to swallow your pride and don't argue about it. The main objective is to keep your children with you. Once you loose custody there will be hell for everyone, especially the kids. So please just be patient. Also keep this in mind...we as good parents continue to learn all through our lives.
Parents involuntarily involved with CPS aren't the best parents generally. Sorry to break it to you.
Just pay the money, take the classes. It's what's best for your kids in the long run. You say you're a good parent, good parents want the best for their kids.
If CPS say's that you need to have this done then just do it. Get it over with and show them that you are good parents - once you do what they want they will leave you alone. If you don't do this they can probably have your kids taken away.
Why are you in CPS in the first place? When it comes to children, the laws are very strict. For you to question it as if to complain of its inconvenience to you when there are obvious reasons as to why you are in CPS in the first place, it's stupid you ask maybe.
Good parents don't have CPS involved in their lives. You must have done something wrong to have CPS monitoring you. Just pay the $50 and take the classes.
Maybe you will learn some new techniques about how to deal with your kids about the issues effecting them in this day and age ( drugs, sex, peer pressure etc.)
if CPS is getting involved there must be more to the story. I have not been told I need to take classes, this is my second child.
You spelled again wrong!! You're a BAD parent!! Whats therpy? so dumb of rules? Did you skip grade school or are you just bad at typing?
If your kids are under five they will most likely adopt them out if you do not comply.
If CPS told me to take classes then I would take the classes. No matter the cost.
I guess youre not as good of a parent as you proclaim to be...I teach these classes.
Why is CPS involved? Backstory?
Take some typing classes while you're at it. Specifically, ones that teach you how to turn Caps Lock off.
What is CPS? And kids grow up, and there are new things to learn.
If you were a good parent then cps wouldn't be an issue.
Oh, great. Somebody beeching about being better parents.
coz u think they are dumb. thats why you have to do it.
Why are you with CPS? which in my state is Child Protective Services which means that someone felt you could not take care of your children properly. Help us understand this, please.
You must be doing something wrong if CPS is involved with your life.
i don't know why, but if that's what they want you better or say bye to the kids
sounds dumb to me i guess
Well what makes you think your a good parent?
for all the people that say she is doing something wrong. well a lot of the times cps gets called for no reason by a mad family member. then cps makes you jump through hoops to keep your kids. so dont say she is a bad mom. for you i am sorry that cps does these things. what state are you in. most states make cps pay if the parents have to do any thing that cost money. i had to take these classes and i agree with you they do not teach you any thing new so i dont even know why they make people take these classesWHY DO WE GOOD PARENTS HAVE TO GET RETAUGHT PARENTING CLASSES?
I don't understand the question. ... ...... ...... sorry. um, i took parenting classes when i was in a shelter for abused women, and read a lot of books, but the best advice I ever got was from Barbara and Dennis Rainey... www.familylife.com. I raised four boys by myself.
I'm not about to criticize you in any way, but... if you were doing your job as a parent why in the world would cps make you take parenting classes?
And what does ';so dumb of rules'; mean? Sorry, I guess you should rephrase your question but before that, maybe think about your situation. cps doesn't make you take parenting classes for nothing.
Obviously I don't know the specifics but if it is CPS forcing you to take these classes then they have a reason to believe that you are not the good parents you claim to be. I personally find it a comfort to know that when an offender has a child, they are having proper guidance istead of being dismissed as a past offender. It may be annoying and you may be a good parent now, but I must wonder how many kids have fallen through the cracks in the past.
something must of happened to involve CPS. All I can tell you is to swallow your pride and don't argue about it. The main objective is to keep your children with you. Once you loose custody there will be hell for everyone, especially the kids. So please just be patient. Also keep this in mind...we as good parents continue to learn all through our lives.
Parents involuntarily involved with CPS aren't the best parents generally. Sorry to break it to you.
Just pay the money, take the classes. It's what's best for your kids in the long run. You say you're a good parent, good parents want the best for their kids.
If CPS say's that you need to have this done then just do it. Get it over with and show them that you are good parents - once you do what they want they will leave you alone. If you don't do this they can probably have your kids taken away.
Why are you in CPS in the first place? When it comes to children, the laws are very strict. For you to question it as if to complain of its inconvenience to you when there are obvious reasons as to why you are in CPS in the first place, it's stupid you ask maybe.
Good parents don't have CPS involved in their lives. You must have done something wrong to have CPS monitoring you. Just pay the $50 and take the classes.
Maybe you will learn some new techniques about how to deal with your kids about the issues effecting them in this day and age ( drugs, sex, peer pressure etc.)
if CPS is getting involved there must be more to the story. I have not been told I need to take classes, this is my second child.
You spelled again wrong!! You're a BAD parent!! Whats therpy? so dumb of rules? Did you skip grade school or are you just bad at typing?
If your kids are under five they will most likely adopt them out if you do not comply.
If CPS told me to take classes then I would take the classes. No matter the cost.
I guess youre not as good of a parent as you proclaim to be...I teach these classes.
Why is CPS involved? Backstory?
Take some typing classes while you're at it. Specifically, ones that teach you how to turn Caps Lock off.
What is CPS? And kids grow up, and there are new things to learn.
If you were a good parent then cps wouldn't be an issue.
Oh, great. Somebody beeching about being better parents.
coz u think they are dumb. thats why you have to do it.
Why are you with CPS? which in my state is Child Protective Services which means that someone felt you could not take care of your children properly. Help us understand this, please.
You must be doing something wrong if CPS is involved with your life.
i don't know why, but if that's what they want you better or say bye to the kids
sounds dumb to me i guess
Well what makes you think your a good parent?
Who's for birth restrictions and parenting competency tests?
Seriously, why are families with more than two children even allowed anymore? Why do we keep allowing the stupid to breed...just because you can make a child, doesn't mean you should. Making babies is, unfortunately, the easy part...Who's for birth restrictions and parenting competency tests?
If the parents are decent people who discipline their kids and support their kids with no help from the gov't, they should have as many or few kids as they want. If the gov't has to start helping, time to stop having kids.Who's for birth restrictions and parenting competency tests?
I am, because this world is too crowded as it is, and environmental dangers are imminent. I think it would lessen the severity if we did something to lower the birth rate, esp. in countries like the U.S. that drain resources and pollute like crazy. I doubt it would happen here, though. People get all high and mighty when it comes to their reproductive rights. The children that we love to put on this Earth will be facing all kinds of turmoil from the Earth as it rebels, likely in the near future. That is why I don't want children - I don't want future generations of my family suffering.
man I have been thinking exactly that for a while - they do a pretty good job of it in china - i doubt it would work in the states -
but I give myself comfort in the thought of natural selection - survival of the fittest - evolution -
Oh sure, let's let the government control us even more. We are supposed to be the land of the free. Remember....freedom, our amendments.
How about we educate people? This world is full of ignorance!
I will agree with you on the parent competency tests... you really need to be able to handle the responsibility of a baby before you have one.
But I happen to like large families... at least the ones where the parents know what they are doing, and are able to devote proper time and attention to each of their kids.
The size isn't the problem, even couples who are smart can raise good families of any size. The problem is when stupid people procreate.
Ie. I might be 14 with no boyfriend, job or education but I want a bay cause I think it'll look cute.
Well my husband and I have been trying to concieve for going on 9 months July 19th so no it's not easy to make a baby. Secondly my husband and I aren't stupid and neither are my extended family. Third the government CAN NOT order or place a restriction on how many children a couple can have. If parents can afford to have more then 2 children then they should be allowed to have as many children as they can afford. My brother in law has 5 kids, another has 9 and another has 13. My husband's country is cheap and the education and hospitals and medicine is free because the Government of Saudi Arabia pays for everything. In our religion which is Islam it is recommended to have large families not only to spread Islam but because family is an important part of Islam and so the eldest child can take care of his mother and younger siblings if the father dies and because families are really close to each other in Islam with grandparents living with their grown children and grandchildren.
I totally agree! We were just discussing that. I think you should have to pass a basic common sense test. Maybe that would cut down on parents murdering their children, or the need for foster care and SRS.lipcolor
If the parents are decent people who discipline their kids and support their kids with no help from the gov't, they should have as many or few kids as they want. If the gov't has to start helping, time to stop having kids.Who's for birth restrictions and parenting competency tests?
I am, because this world is too crowded as it is, and environmental dangers are imminent. I think it would lessen the severity if we did something to lower the birth rate, esp. in countries like the U.S. that drain resources and pollute like crazy. I doubt it would happen here, though. People get all high and mighty when it comes to their reproductive rights. The children that we love to put on this Earth will be facing all kinds of turmoil from the Earth as it rebels, likely in the near future. That is why I don't want children - I don't want future generations of my family suffering.
man I have been thinking exactly that for a while - they do a pretty good job of it in china - i doubt it would work in the states -
but I give myself comfort in the thought of natural selection - survival of the fittest - evolution -
Oh sure, let's let the government control us even more. We are supposed to be the land of the free. Remember....freedom, our amendments.
How about we educate people? This world is full of ignorance!
I will agree with you on the parent competency tests... you really need to be able to handle the responsibility of a baby before you have one.
But I happen to like large families... at least the ones where the parents know what they are doing, and are able to devote proper time and attention to each of their kids.
The size isn't the problem, even couples who are smart can raise good families of any size. The problem is when stupid people procreate.
Ie. I might be 14 with no boyfriend, job or education but I want a bay cause I think it'll look cute.
Well my husband and I have been trying to concieve for going on 9 months July 19th so no it's not easy to make a baby. Secondly my husband and I aren't stupid and neither are my extended family. Third the government CAN NOT order or place a restriction on how many children a couple can have. If parents can afford to have more then 2 children then they should be allowed to have as many children as they can afford. My brother in law has 5 kids, another has 9 and another has 13. My husband's country is cheap and the education and hospitals and medicine is free because the Government of Saudi Arabia pays for everything. In our religion which is Islam it is recommended to have large families not only to spread Islam but because family is an important part of Islam and so the eldest child can take care of his mother and younger siblings if the father dies and because families are really close to each other in Islam with grandparents living with their grown children and grandchildren.
I totally agree! We were just discussing that. I think you should have to pass a basic common sense test. Maybe that would cut down on parents murdering their children, or the need for foster care and SRS.
The future for teen moms can be compromised due to the demands of parenting.?
The future for teen moms can be compromised due to the demands of parenting. What are two of those consequences?
Website:
http://www.smith.edu/ourhealthourfutures鈥?/a>
Thanks, (hw question)The future for teen moms can be compromised due to the demands of parenting.?
Be careful. This is a stereotype and is based on the assumption that parenthood is what compromises their future. Many teens who become parents have already had their futures compromised - by poverty, inadequate educational services, emotional and physical abuse, peer pressure, a poor environment, and the media. Not only is there no incentive to prevent pregnancy, there may actually be a financial advantage compared to where they were before. These teens would have struggled whether they had babies or not.
Teens from more privileged backgrounds also have babies - and their futures are really not much different from their peers'. Most of them go to college, support their children, and eventually marry. They may have done things in their lives in different order from their peers, but in 10 years, they all end up in about the same place.
So be careful in assuming that parenthood is the problem. It's not. In many cases, the real problem is the circumstances that lead to early parenthood.The future for teen moms can be compromised due to the demands of parenting.?
Ummm homework if for you not for us!!!! DO your own homework.
Website:
http://www.smith.edu/ourhealthourfutures鈥?/a>
Thanks, (hw question)The future for teen moms can be compromised due to the demands of parenting.?
Be careful. This is a stereotype and is based on the assumption that parenthood is what compromises their future. Many teens who become parents have already had their futures compromised - by poverty, inadequate educational services, emotional and physical abuse, peer pressure, a poor environment, and the media. Not only is there no incentive to prevent pregnancy, there may actually be a financial advantage compared to where they were before. These teens would have struggled whether they had babies or not.
Teens from more privileged backgrounds also have babies - and their futures are really not much different from their peers'. Most of them go to college, support their children, and eventually marry. They may have done things in their lives in different order from their peers, but in 10 years, they all end up in about the same place.
So be careful in assuming that parenthood is the problem. It's not. In many cases, the real problem is the circumstances that lead to early parenthood.The future for teen moms can be compromised due to the demands of parenting.?
Ummm homework if for you not for us!!!! DO your own homework.
What is the value of parenting programmes in enabling learning and growth?
The value is priceless. Every parent should be educated on child development. It makes life so much easier and fun for you and your children. The more educated you are in child development, the more enriched your childs' life becomes.What is the value of parenting programmes in enabling learning and growth?
not worth it they make you feel stupid and that everything your doing is wrong.What is the value of parenting programmes in enabling learning and growth?
Hmm, this is in 'parenting', but sounds like a college assignment to me. Do your own homework!
not worth it they make you feel stupid and that everything your doing is wrong.What is the value of parenting programmes in enabling learning and growth?
Hmm, this is in 'parenting', but sounds like a college assignment to me. Do your own homework!
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