thanksComplete strangers saying rude things to you about your parenting?
I've got plenty of stories about this! Some of the things people have said to me make me wonder if their parents ever taught them manners!
Once, just a few months ago we were on vacation to Disney World. The hubby and I had been trying our hardest to keep our twins eating well (you know, not eating out all the time things like that) and on our last day at Disney we decided to treat the girls who had been well behaved the entire time. Anyways we were in the candy shop and purchased them each an oversized lollipop. The cashier rang them up and I handed them to the girls to hang on to while I paid. As I was getting the money out the cashier said,
';Aren't they a little young for so much sugar?'; with this horrible disapproving look on her face. Had my girls not been standing right there I would have given her a piece of my mind!
Another time I had all three girls out (my 3 year old twins and 14 year old stepdaughter) at the mall. It was about a year ago, so the twins were only 2. After a couple of hours they were both exhausted so Lia (step daughter) and I each grabbed one of them and as we were walking through the mall, trying to get to the exit with the girls snoozing on our shoulders I heard a woman comment loudly to her friend,
';How sad those poor little girls have to nap on the go just so their mommy can shop'; She said it like I didn't care that they were tired and only cared about shopping! When she thought I wasn't looking actually Lia flipped them the bird. Normally I would have scolded her, but gosh I felt like doing the sameComplete strangers saying rude things to you about your parenting?
I was taking my son to the park in his stroller when he was about 6 months, when a man said to me ';he looks cold.'; I reflexively felt his hands and said ';no, he's not cold,'; because of course, the hands, nose, ears and toes get cold first. So the man stoops over, touches the baby's hands too, and says ';he's NOT cold!'; in a tone of complete surprise. And his wife scolds him ';she doesn't want a complete stranger touching her baby. Particularly on the hands--he'll put them in his mouth!'; And I just smiled and moved on. . .
the worse for me was when my son was only 2 months old
we took him to my aunts home for a sunday BBQ. We fed him ( bottle....could not breast feed.... which is a whole other rant about how some mothers look down on you for that!!) It was only around another hour latter my son seemed to be hungry again so we decided to give him another bottle. Well people were jumping on me saying my son was starving and I should be putting cereal in his bottle. This one woman( who i never met before) was really going on about it. I tried telling her how doctors do not suggest that any more that it works against the baby. There was no shutting her up tho... I started getting really upset. This woman was accusing me of starving my child over and over. i was really upset at my family that were letting her attack me like that too! I finally broke and told her to shut up and mind her own business. She got pissy and left :)
thankyou for giving me somewhere to let off steam!!
my bub has started to sleep on his stomach probably ever since he could roll himself over, i guess he finds it more comfortable.. anyway this was stressing me and i asked the health nurse what to do as the whole thing bout safety with sids is to put baby to sleep on their backs.. she said that it is fine if he is moving himself to that position as he is strong enough to roll over.. ok i thought stress less let him sleep how he is comfortable.. anyway i was down the local shops and my bub had fallen asleep in the pram and was sort of laying on his side/stomach in the pram.. a lady stopped me and said 'YOUR BABY IS ON HIS TUMMY!!!' i said 'i know' implying isnt he just so gorgeous, she said 'NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT YOU KNOW!!' and expected me to roll him over and disrupt his sleep.. i was shocked a stranger could be so outspoken and judgmental i didnt even get the chance to say to her i have spoken to his nurse and she says its ok etc etc, i just felt like crying.
there have been others but i think because they see im a young mum they think its ok to be opinionated about my child. As i am a young mum i read everything i can to help and ask endless questions to family and the health nurses i dont pretend i know everything but i find the answers to what i dont know and find the best ones to suit my bub and i....
sorry realise i started a bit of a rant, it just makes me mad when people do this i dont give any advice unless i am asked to.
I have had people tell me that I should let me daughter ride in a cart because she chews on it (I clean it off before I put her in it and I have tried the covers, she pushes it to the side and then just chews on the cart).
I have had people tell me that I don't dress my daughter ';properly'; (she's a girl, most of her clothes are boy clothes, I can't help it my relatives are mostly male). I have had people tell me that she is going to have a gender complex because of the way I dress her, which is stupid.
People give me crap about giving her juice (';don't you know it will make her obese?';), veggie puffies (';don't you know she could choke?';) and formula (';don't you know that breastfeeding is better?';).
I just let it roll, you can't let things like that bother you.
Edit:
Oh, I almost forgot about the woman yesterday! She actually yelled at me for not having a hat on my little one. Yes, I know it was raining and chilly, but you just try keeping a hat on a six month old that doesn't want to wear it!
Yes! I have 5 kids, so you can imagine the looks we get because God forbid we don't have the same size family as them. I never really had someone bold enough to say something until about 3 months ago.
That was the day all my kids were a little sick, but I still had to go shopping for food. My husband was working, so all 5 of them came along. I wouldn't buy my 3 year old daughter, but she ended up having a breakdown. My 13 year old daughter stayed outside the bathroom with the rest of the children (who were behaving great) while I was in the bathroom calming my daughter down. A women was in their, and looked horrified that I had my daughter sit in time-out for 3 minutes on the chair in the bathroom. It's not like I stripped her bare and wacked her around in the bathroom. I didn't even spank her (but boy I could've lol). So then I calm her down. I was maybe in the bathroom for 5 minutes and I come out. This women is standing with my kids. At first I thought she was just helping my daughter out, but no she was waiting there to ';make sure I come back'; and to ';tell me the dangers of this';. I'm glad she was concerned, because when I think someone is in danger I like to speak up, but it was no where NEAR dangerous.
Uhhh people annoy me!
right after my son was born and the day after i went home with him, i had to stop at a grocery store to get him some formula. i didn't have him in his baby seat and his feet weren't in socks and no one said anything but i felt the glares of women as i walked through the grocery store with my newborn. he was born in september but that fall was pretty warm so i didn't bundle him up constantly and i kept getting grief from that and people kept claiming that my son was going to get colic (which of course he never did).
i don't really give a rat's rump about strangers, but my son's paternal grandmother is always telling me how i'm messing up. she tells me:
1) i should get him hard bottomed shoes
2) i should stop giving him formula and give him more table food (such as french fries and potato chips which are so healthy lol)
3) i should cut his hair
4) he's always either hot or cold in my home
i had someone that was holding my son once make a comment about the lack of hard bottomed shoes and i just laughed if off as me being one of those ';new-fangled moms';. people are going to talk. strangers are more dealable. its the relatives that have comments that are more annoying.
This is my personal favorite:
When my child was about three or four, we were having ice cream and sitting outside the ice cream parlor. It was the first warm day of Spring and my child was literally dancing for joy.
A stranger walked over to me and said, ';It's bad enough for you to give a hyperactive child ice cream, but it didn't have to be CHOCOLATE!';
The child is 12 now and still dancing for joy....
All the best.
';you really should discipline them better';, ';If that was my son I would have beat his a** by now';, ';that's what happens when you don't have a father in the picture';......believe me being a single mom of two boys I have heard many comments usually from older married woman who have nothing better to do than to sit around and judge everyone else.
I was in Family Dollar with my boys and they were having a horrible day. My exhusband had just been back in town and visited with them for a whole hour after not seeing them for a year and they were very upset by the visit. It was the next day and we took them to the store and they just hadn't slept good or anything after the visit but they were doing ok just a little grumpy. Well we got to the store and we were there for about 10 minutes and they always go to the store and the ladies that work there know us very well so the boys decided to get hyper and they were playing in the store. I told the to stop it and my youngest son threw a fit. He was 2 years old at the time. He threw himself to the ground screaming and this little old lady, probably about 70 years old started talking to another woman and said ';I don't know what is wrong with these young parents today, they can't even control their own kids. If that was my son he wouldn't have done that because I would have pulled his a** out of here already and beat his butt until he couldn't sit';.
You should not be left in charge of children!
It hurts not because it might be true but because it is a real fear, the inability to live up to the role, of parent.
Yes, like ';you need to go out and hustle'; nobody can raise a child on their own. Thats BS
i've never had anyone say anything to me but if they did I'd give it right back to them
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