Is there anybody out there on the parenting board with kids over the age of 2 who hasn't yelled at their kids?

even once in the last year? if so, does anything faze you and did you do anything in particular to acquire that kind of self-control and patience?





still stuck on a statistic from the link in ALF's question.Is there anybody out there on the parenting board with kids over the age of 2 who hasn't yelled at their kids?
I don't yell. I'm not sure if it's because I can't handle it, or if it's truly just because I think it's bad for my son. Either way, I'm not a yeller.





I don't find it effective, and I think it's damaging. The closest I've come to yelling, was in August, my great-aunt had passed away. She was 94, and a very big part of my life. The night before we left to cross the state for the funeral, I had to go to a parent's meeting at the school for my son. I left him at home with specific instructions to complete his Saturday chores that night.





I didn't find out that he hadn't done anything after I left, until the next morning while I was franticly preparing last minute details for our trip. At which point, I learned, he'd not done anything and wasn't prepared to leave. I was very frustrated. My tone of voice showed that. Was just above a whisper, and rather intense. After the lecture that followed, I have no doubts, that he'll remember that very clearly, and be more of help, next time I have too much on my plate.





Yes, some of the things he does phase me. His logic astounds me at times as it's so convoluted. Self-control and patience? I studied early childhood develpment for 2years, and worked in the field for 8.





My goal in discipline, isn't to relieve my frustration, but rather to best teach the lesson that must be learned. It isn't about me, it's about him. What do I have to do, to prepare him for adulthood? He has to learn how to be a responible, respectful, considerate, caring adult. If he isn't going to learn that from me... who's going to teach him? I have to set the example. Not only for responsibility, and respect, but conflict resolution, time management, empathy, understanding, etc.





If I set the example of yelling, screaming, being insulting, etc. how can I expect any better from him?





If I can maintain my calm, understand his position, give him the reality check, and put things into terms he can not only understand but accept, aren't I helping him to learn how to do these things himself?





If I think I can't maintain, there have been times I feel like I'm going to lose it. It's quite simple, I don't deal with it until I can. He can go read a book, or hide in his room. Do his chores, whatever is appropriate at the time, while I take a time out, and get a grip. That doesn't happen often, but I have no shame in admitting, occassionally I need a time-out. A chance to regroup. A moment to think things through, and decide not only what the real problem is, but what is the best solution.





I think everybody gets frustrated. It's simply how you handle it that matters. by the by, my method of handling it, is just relevant to how I handle him, it's how I handle life in general.Is there anybody out there on the parenting board with kids over the age of 2 who hasn't yelled at their kids?
I have yelled at my kids but I can probably count on my fingers (and maybe one foot of toes) the number of times and they have all been in more recent years rather than the younger years. In other words I don't yell often. I am pretty patient and I am able to keep my calm. I tend to be very consistent and so I just speak in a matter of fact kind of way. I've just never been a yeller, neither was my mom. In the past when I have felt myself nearing that point I would usually go into the bathroom and look into the mirror, it's hard to act like a mad ***** when you are looking at yourself in the mirror. It's not a pretty site and snaps you right out of it LOL
Oh heck no. I yelled at my kids for the first time when they were each just a few *weeks* old (Sleep deprivation and screaming baby= mommy losing her mind. Sorry if that makes me a horrible mom).





Any person who claims to have never ever yelled at their kids at any point is a liar. All parents loose their cool.





I'm a self professed yeller. I don't yell nearly as often as I used to as I'm learning that yelling solves nothing, but I am prone to hollering when I get frustrated. It happens. When it does, I stop and cool off. Then I go back and tell my kids I'm sorry and hug them and spend some extra time with them.





I'm so wanting to hear if any parent claims to have never ever yelled at their kids ever. I want to know their BS... oops, I mean secret.
We all yell. I try not to but sometimes, it's going to happen. I do try to keep my control by telling him to do something once. The second time I have to say it, I say ';Okay, this is the second time, next time, you will be punished';. Usually that works and I don't have to get ugly but sometimes, he gets sent to bed early or time out or I take something away that he loves for a while (Nintendo DS is a good one for me). But you still find that you yell sometimes, whether you want to or not. It's a natural human reaction.
I just don't buy it.





You try to be a good parent, but there are times when I know she knows better, and I don't know what possessed her to do what she did, and I have lost it.





Now I do try to catch myself, and I do apologize to her, but let's just take a closer look at those stats anyway, shall we. Most spankers are yellers as well. So we're still doing better.





EDIT: I am also up there in years. It has nothing to do with being mature and everything to do with being human.
I admit I yell at my son on nearly a daily basis but he's 14 and really needs it right now. Plus the fact that I have to combat an ex who's constantly trashing me and undermining my authority.





I have self control, I have patience but sometimes the passion of the moment seizes me and I yell. It can be very cleansing.





It's not normal for someone to never lose it.
It never starts off as an intention to yell, but frequently ends in a yelling match. I don't wake up thinking ';hmm, today I need to yell at my kids more.'; But when they start fighting and screaming, you need to yell to be heard. Or the TV is too loud, and they're 2 feet from it, they can't even hear me when I do yell (at that point, I resort to throwing nerf balls at them to get their attention). When the response to each question is ';huh?'; in a dazed, dead eye look, my response is to just repeat the question, louder and louder until they actually respond:





Me (normal voice)- What do you want for dinner?


Them- huh?


Me (louder)- What do you want for dinner?


Them- huh?


Me (yelling)- What do you want for dinner?


Them- um, lobster maybe?


Me- are you frickin serious? do you know how much lobster is per pound now? try again.


Them- huh?
Like anything else on here people will beat you to death with semantics. How raised does the voice have to be before it becomes yelling? Is there a decibel threshold? I will say that I don't consider myself a yeller. I'm a big man with a deep voice and apparently an intimidating presence so how much would I really have to raise my voice to get attention? I must say I don't think I've ever heard my daughter yell, however, I have seen her evil eye. I don't know where she got it from, but I would be honored to have an evil eye like that!
I have yelled, but almost instantly try to control my voice level. It stresses my eldest daughter out very badly and I strive for a calm atmosphere. So, yes, it happens but I get control of voice.





My husband never really yells *at* the kids. He might just yell *in general* when he's upset with them. I'm more likely to be the one to yell *at* the kids.
Well... I'm a very quiet, soft spoken person. Friends, family %26amp; people in my life don't ';believe'; I'm capable of yelling. Does that count?





I'm sure they wish they could be a fly in my home to hear my ';monster'; voice... Muahhh haaaa haaaa.





:0)


.
In my former life, I was a Stepford wife and mother.





Alas, in this lifetime, I am regrettably human, subject to anger, frustration, and from time to time, a slave to my godforsaken hormones.
It was probably when my daughter was around the age of 3 that I started scolding her a lot more. She was generally a really good baby. It wasn't until she started openly defying me that it became hard to control my volume.
I'd be skeptical of anyone who answered ';yes'; to this question. Every parents gets frustrated and yells at their child(ren) at some point.
Me!





I think those who claim that they haven't yelled/screamed at least once in a whole year are in some serious denial.
I didn't see the stats or the question ALF asked but i find it hard to believe that any parent out there hasn't yelled at their kids at some point in their lives.





You have to be mute not to!!
Aside from mute parents, I don't see many possibilities on this either.
without the use of prescription drugs, I don't see how it's possible....
i find it hard to believe that there are parents out there that have never raised thier voice....if so..then they are deaf or mute...lol
A little yelling, won't hurt anyone. It is part of the learning curve in life.
I wish
yes.. deaf parents can't yell
My daughter Emily is 6 and a half and I have never yelled at her, the only times I've raised my voice to her have been when she was some distance away and I could foresee a possible danger (like falling from a height or into water etc.). I never lose my temper with her and find solutions for all situations in calm and loving dialogue.


I had Emily quite late in life (I'm 42 now) and I think that extra maturity is what provides the self-control and patience, but it might just be my natural personality.
i dont know what you are talking about alf. but i will answer your question. i never yeled at my little lady in all her life., parents that yell are cowards. i talk to her and i see nothing wrong with letting her live her own way and get what makes her happy. she is almost 12 and i never yelled at her. i did yell at teachers and family that yell at her. i threaten to hit them if they dare yell at my little lady