Ferber method or attachment parenting?

I without realising it automatically tend toward attachment parenting while my Husband %26amp; his Mother (who will be watching my baby) are more the Ferber type of parents. How can I get a happy medium? And keep my Baby happy?


BTW: she is 1 month. Too youg to even be having this convo.





Thanks!Ferber method or attachment parenting?
As a mother of 5...it is amazing how readily babies will accomodte different behavior from different caregivers. My oldsest was toilet trained at my mothers house a full year (at 15months) before she ever would even sit on a potty for me...It was just funner at grandma's..extreem example... but I nursed all my babies on demand and of course my sister in law who watched them, bottle fed the breast milk....on a schedule. They are all and were all happy..try not to sweat the small stuff unless it becomes a problemFerber method or attachment parenting?
You're the mother. If his mom can't watch her according to your rules, then maybe she should not be watching the baby.
I think you know what is best for your child. I think one year is too young for Ferber. Your child is crying to communicate with you. Did you read Dr. Sears ';The Baby Book';? He is all about attachment parenting. And he explains that the first year is so important to respond to your baby's cries so you and your child develop a bond that will stay with her for the rest of her life.





Now, I did the ';not letting my child cry it out'; in the first year. And the sling, etc. But I did not do ';putting my baby in my bed'; at first, because I didn't want my child there for his whole life. But at 6 months, he ended up there, but I got him out at 15 months and let him cry it out then, because I already knew what each cry meant and how and when to respond. Dr. Sears let his kids sleep in their bed until they out grew that. And that's a bit too much for me. But every parent is different.





So do what feels best for you. Don't ever feel bad for responding to your child's cries. Your child needs you. Who cares what your MIL says. But read up on attachment parenting to get your husband on your side. I think there's a reason mothers want to do attachment parenting: because it's best for the child.
You are the mother. You get to make the rules. Maybe you can get your hubby to check out the benefits of AP style parenting online.
You're the mother. This is your game, you have control. You are the primary decision maker for the child. Tell your Mil and dad that they need to do as you say. It's that simple.


Babies need lots of love. They need to feel secure. When she cries, you need to go to her and make her feel that she is looked after. I did that every single time when my little one was newborn. And I still do this now (she's 7 months). I might wait for maybe a minute, but never, ever longer! Plus, when a baby cries she needs love or a diaper or food or something's wrong. You need to find out which. That's your role as a mother. And that will be their role to. They need to play by your rules. Keep control of your child-rearing. Your mother instinct is always right. Even if your Mil is also a mother - it's been a while since she had a baby (decades?) and she is not your baby's mother. Speak up and be firm. Because if you give in now, you will have to give in later with other things that are important to you too. Your baby is counting on you. If she can't count on mom, then she's truly lost and has no one.
Actually, you might be surprised to read Ferber's book--he recanted crying it out in babies.





I'm a big believe in following what your heart and instinct tell you; you're the mom, you know best.
Pro 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.





Teach the child who she is in the bible.





1Cr 3:19 For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, He taketh the wise in their own craftiness.





If you love your child you will not raise them with all of the philosophies of the world, but by the words in the bible. Teach those lessons!
I think a combination works best. It depends on the child though. Attachment parenting can work for some parents.





With my son we use the Ferber method, but you need to know your baby. I know if my son is just fussing to get attention, in which case I'll let him sooth himself. But if I hear him in true distress I am right in there immediately





As always give lots of hugs and kisses to your little one!





I've attached a link to an ABC news story about these methods and their upsides and faults.