Oh, I got/get this CONSTANTLY! A nurse in the hospital actually had the nerve to tell me to stop holding my newborn, because he ';had to learn to be without me.'; I responded with, ';Learn to be without me?! We JUST MET!'; That shut her up. It continued with family, though. They insisted I had to put him on a schedule, let him cry himself to sleep at 6 months old (the idea still makes me cringe), not nurse him any longer than 6 months because he would be a ';mama's boy,'; told me my son would die of SIDS because we coslept (he slept through the night at a week old because of being close to me, and he's obviously still alive!), and not to use a baby sling because he'd never learn to walk and he'd be needy (as if strollers teach a baby to walk). They also told me to put him in daycare ASAP, even though I'm a full - time mother, once again so he wouldn't be needy, to let him eat junk food ';like the other kids'; (his cousins),...the list goes on. I knew I was right, as I am his mother and I know what's best for my son. I now have a bright, happy, well - adjusted, independent toddler who knows Mommy will always be there when and if he needs me. The children of some of the people who criticized me, however, still can't fall asleep on their own - at 11 years old. So keep at it, and ignore the comments. You'll be glad you did!To those of you who practice Attachment Parenting (ONLY)?
Look for supportive people in my life. My husband is good at reminding me why we're doing things this way. Seeing my kids relating to others in the world is another good reminder for me.
Go back %26amp; re-read the things that made you decide to follow your heart like this, re-read the logical %26amp; philosophical ideas that are your foundation.
Think about the time that has passed, how quickly it has passed, since your child was born. It goes by so quickly - why push them away before they are ready for it? Why do anything that doesn't feel 'right' for your family?
Edit to add: Just read the answers %26amp; wanted to reply to the 'way too hard to get them to comfort themselves' answer. It doesn't have to be. Once you %26amp; your child have formed a strong bond, you will have a better knowledge of them, of how they learn - now, with that bond, you can teach them just about anything! Attachment parenting isn't about following rules. It's about creating that trust bond between *both* of you.
You need to read and educate yourself about the kind of parenting you are practicing. You need to understand the reasons behind your style of parenting. I don't know exactly waht you are referring to but, I believe very strongly in holding and breastfeeding and cosleeping. These are decisions that you need to believe in and follow because they support the kind of parent you want to be. Unfortuanltely people judge each other all the itme and you need to be able to deal with it because, this is only the beginning!! Once you feel more confident about your decisons and your belief in you way of parenting, you will feel less judge and more proud of yoruself instead. It doesn't get any easier as they grow!!
Hi! It is hard to be a bit different in a group. It is very helpful even if there is just one other physical support to talk and share ideas with about what you are doing as there are 101 questions we have as parents everyday. We felt instinctively what we were doing was right for our kids. I didn't even know we were doing attachment parenting until a friend gave me the book! However, at the time I felt I was the only one and did get alot of mixed feedback. I still do. Also, some admiration! All I can say is to be honest with those around you and say that we all do what we feel is right and if they are really interested to know the benefits you feel talk more or give resources. I Or if you get a polite it's not for me or closed door, to simply, cuddle a bit closer for a moment with your child and be reminded by their response to you that what your doing is right for you all as a family. Hope this helps? KT
I have three children. I breastfed them all, in public and private. They are 6, 11 and 12. They still want to come and sleep in mommy's bed sometimes. I let them. Soon, they will fly the coop and what will I have left ... my memories of them. When I leave this world what will they remember ... cuddles, hugs, comfort, the feelings of being loved and cherished.
However, I did face a lot of criticism on how I was not doing things right. I finally came up with a good answer :
';You know, I used to ask the same question ... until I realized that it was none of my business';.
That usually shut people up. In the end. do what is important to you and your spouse. You don't want to be regretting giving in to peer pressure and not raising your child your way.
My solution to this one so far (bub is 8 weeks old) has been to find others with the same philosophies and spend as much time with them as possible, talking out any parenting issues with them and then do my best to avoid discussion about parenting topics with those who I know have different feelings. If it gets too irritating try to have some firm but polite responses ready such as ';I feel I am doing what is best for my child as all mothers wish to, please do not impose your ideals onto us.'; If anyone comments that cosleeping is dangerous tell them to go do their research :-)
Best wishes for you and your happy, secure family.
I practiced everything except breastfeeding with my first (couldn't do it medical reasons) and it will be the same with my second. ... I mostly jsut tell people to mind thier business. My child is very well adjusted and behaved, if they don't like how I';m raising them then screw them. Atleast she isn't running to to people at walmart, screaming for this and that. I can take her to a movie or restuarnat and she acts like a little adult.
I surround myself with like-minded individuals and families; In real life and on-line!-)
There is nothing wrong with this kind of parenting. I did it with my first one. I won;t be doing it again with my second one. It's wayyyyyy too hard to get them to comfort themselves later on.
Well, as long as you aren't breastfeeding until your child is 5... lol
I dont quite know what cosleeping is? Sharing a room?
I'm not a parent yet, but I definately dont want to be the mom whos got their kid on a leash... And I dont care who gets to see my nipple in a really expensive classy restaurant, breastfeeding is better for the baby than formula...
I think what you're doing sounds like a really good thing... But along with that you do have to find a way to teach your child some independance...
When I'm a parent with constant criticism about that, I'll tell people that I want to be the mom I never had and if that means being involved in my kids life rather than throwing them in the stroller or on a leash (for God's sake its a kid not a dog!) I'd much rather that... I think most parents dont want to put in the effort to do a good job so they criticize those who do... For me, what would get me through the criticism is that I dont want to be like my mom... No matter what... I'd rather be dead and have my child raised motherless than be like mine...
dont listen to what anyone says, thats your child and there is no such thing as to over doing it when it comes to your children. because no one is ever goona love your or take good care of your child like you do.
what is attachment parenting?
i think we all at some level do attachment parenting such as co sleeping, breastfeeding and carrying your child quiet naturally. True Attachment Parenting believes in not using pacifiers to sooth baby as it is made for the mothers benefit not the childs, so AP would offer the breast for comfort. Prams again are for mothers benefit with style and are in replacment of the mother carrying her newborn, thus doesnt foster a deeper bond that the mother and child need,thus Attachment Parenting use slings to carry babe everywhere.
I think we all do a great job in bonding with our children,So attachment parents works for some and not for others.
I partially practice this lol. I didn't mean to either. I just did what felt natural to me as a new mother. So, I cosleep and I breastfeed. I held my daughter 24/7 until she learned to crawl, cruise, and walk, so I don't really hold her much any more LOL because she's so independent now. I haven't met much criticism, except that I've gotten a few sideways comments from my MIL about cosleeping. I ignore her and tell her that my husband and I like it and it doesn't bother us. I simply just don't let many people know about what we do behind closed doors. It's none of their business. If they ask questions, then I'll answer honestly of course. If they have a problem with it, then I let them know that it does not bother us. We'll raise our daughter the way we feel is right and in a way that will bring her up to be a healthy and happy adult.
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