Friday, January 15, 2010

What has parenting come to these days?

My 9 month old son has been going thru something, i dont know what, but im hoping this is a phase. So many people just go on and on about how their baby is on a schedule and they let them cry all the time. U know what...my son was loving, happy, and fun to be around. NOW that i have tried these methods that were lovingly passed on to me, he is distant...sad...angry...fussy...just flat out a different baby! and we are all DOWN! ive been stressin out so much about what to do about his naps and his bedtime...but ya know what...im missing out- he is not going to be a baby forever, ppl spend more time about what the clock and their schedules say, what about their baby! i think i can stick out this exhausted feeling for a lil while longer just to see that smile again. and NO babies that arent on schedules arent ';wild';, ever since i put him on one hes been HORRIBLE! he had better discipline when he was happy....plain and simple. SO if your in my boat-dont stress anymore-do what you want!What has parenting come to these days?
I never had my babies on ';schedules'; I took my baby to the sitter for the first time and there was another mother there with a typewritten schedule to give to the sitter. It was very detailed, she even included a list of what was in the diaper bag. I listened to her go over this list. It was then my turn to talk to the sitter and I told her';feed him when he's hungry, change him when he's wet and put him down for a nap when he's sleepy.'; She laughed so hard cause that other mother had been so ';anal'; about her child.What has parenting come to these days?
';MY SON isn't like your kids...ur children allowed u to plan their lives...my son is a intelligent, curious lil boy'; Yet you say you weren't being rude about schedules. My boys are also extremely intelligent and curious and you're insinuating that mine aren't.

Report Abuse



If you knew how to work a schedule you'd realize it adapts to the child's natural schedule. That's how we started if in the beginning. It's not about forcing anything--it's about working with what you already got.

Report Abuse



I really hope your poor son doesn't get your ignorance or immaturity. By the sounds of it you really lack any common sense or the ability of effectively communicate with people.

Report Abuse



people try to place children onto schdules to fit their own..but if you are fortunate enough to have a free schdule then let him be on one as well......
I agree with the other poster. Babies are not made for schedules. We can't even schedule their births (exception maybe a c-section). Just let him be and enjoy your time with him. Before you know it he'll be 16.
I'm with you all the way. Yes, schedules are important but they are not supposed to adhered to as if they were written in stone. My children were both on a very flexible schedule. The only thing that I was adamant about was bedtime, and I confess that was more for my sanity.





You make a very good point. You have to do what works for your children, not everyone else's.
I don't think you understand what a routine is because my kids [and studies show that most kids] strive on routines. My routine started when he first came home from the hospital and the routine was fit to him. We molded it and now that he's a year he's so much easier to predict and less cranky then days when he's not on his routine. A typical routine for us revolves around HIM. What time HE eats in the morning, noon, and night. What time HE sleeps the best and wakes up refreshed and not cranky. What time HE takes a nap easier.





I understand if you don't like schedules but don't criticize those who are and strive on them. I'm glad my life isn't hectic. I'm glad I know how to keep my son happy and know what he wants. Routines for kids aren't supposed to have the entire day planned but they are supposed to create structure so that both parent and child are happier. Our lives on a routine are so stress free.





To the lady above me: routines are there to get their whole body in a routine. My son is tired when it's his bedtime and ready to wake in the morning happier then ever. We eat at the same time every night because---that's when we are all hungry. If you make a routine FIT your life then everyone is happy.
I AGREE WITH YOU 100%. MY SCHEDULE REVOLVES AROUND MY BABIES. I HAVE A 5YR OLD, A 2 YEAR OLD, AND ONE ON THE WAY. THE ONLY SCHEDULE WE HAVE IS TIME TO EAT! MY 5 Y/O GOES TO BED BY 8:30-9P.M. MY 2Y/O GOES TO BED WHEN HE IS TIRED-USUALLY 7PM. I DONT FORCE MY SCHEDULE ON THEM BECUASE IT WOULD MAKE MY LIFE A LIVING HELL!!!! IF THEY ARE HAPPY AND HEALTHY-I AM DOING MY MOTHERLY JOB! GOOD JOB MOM FOR STANDING YOUR GROUND. WHAT WORKS FOR ONE MAY NOT WORK FOR ANOTHER AND EACH BABY IS DIFFERENT. MoMmIeS kNoW bEsT!!!!!
i always assumed that a child under 1 has their own schedule. until my son was 1 1/2 we pretty much went with his schedule. he napped when he was tired and wake up when he was ready. we followed his flow.





after 1 1/2 we felt the need to start some sort of schedule that worked for us. we put him to bed at 8pm, we wanted him to get used to a bedtime so that in the future its easier to get him to go to bed early. he eats around the same time everyday and thats only because he is 4 years old.





u don't really need a schedule right now, just follow his flow.








your son could just be teething and thats why the sudden change.
not all kids are the same, some cope with schedules others don't you should just go with what you and your baby feel good with.
Do what works for you and your baby. Its that simple.
Its normal as they get older to be fussier and crankier. Hopefully, he will simmer down in 17 years! Seriously though, its normal and they go through different adjustment periods
As a Mom, you need to trust your own instincts. If your baby was happy and healthy when he was not on a ';schedule,'; then there was no need to change the way you were doing things. Throw that schedule out the window, and go back to enjoying your beautiful son. You're a great Mom!
A baby will naturally work out his own schedule that works best for him. That's what we did with my son... he actually started sleeping through the night sooner than a lot of other babies his age.
I guess I didn't get the memo! Except for school (my kids are now older) they have NEVER had a schedule of any kind. They eat when they're hungry, sleep when they're tired.





I mean, I have to remind them about brushing their teeth, making their beds and taking a shower, but in terms of a schedule - no.





I want my kids to trust their bodies. We don't even have dinner at the same time each night. We decide when we're hungry and then cook.





I think you're spot on when you say you don't want your child to have a schedule. I haven't found them to be necessary. When they can eat and sleep as they need to, they get into their own schedule that suits them and then you can work with that. If you're always trying to impose your schedule on them it just leads to power struggles.
Routines are good....but where people make the mistake is the set a routine and then try to taylor their life to it....you have to taylor your routine to your life.....We have a very basic routine....it is not set in stone, but general....bed time around 8...wake up around 7....breakfast around 9....lunch at 12 or so....nap a around 2....supper at around 6.....these times are not set in stone, somedays kids dont' get tired until 9 but having that general routine helps....it works for us....

No comments:

Post a Comment