Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Just a Question, about parenting a teenager?

I had my daughter when i was fairly young, and so now that she is at the age where she can date i think I'm a little over protective. I don't know what to do, i also don't know what her age limit should be shes kinda like me and wants to date older guys but i know what that can lead to and don't want to allow it.





I am only asking this question here because i want some opinions from people i don't know.





Please and thank you Just a Question, about parenting a teenager?
You don't say what her age is, so this is a little hard to answer; but...


she ought to be allowed to date guys in her own class level. If the actual age is a year older, that shouldn't matter. I don't think a middle-schooler should be dating alone at all, if that's what she is. Before you are of driving age (16) you should not date without adult supervision, and YOU, mom, should always--until she is 18 and a legal adult--set a curfew time. You've got to let her go sometime...I know it's hard to do, but she has to make her own mistakes. You can't prevent them or keep them from happening, and the more you clamp down, the more likely she'll be to want to make them sooner. Give her some rope and trust her--and TELL HER you trust her.





This is how I would break it down: age 13-15 dating in groups only, with adult chaperoning or supervision (i.e., school dances, basketball/football games, parents along with the kids, etc.)





16-18 dating alone with boys, in cars, with strict ';back home by'; times: (age 16: 11:30PM, age 17-18, 12:00) and NO dates on school nights except for school events. This is fair and simple.





You can't do much else here. You can only love her, raise her to do the right thing, make sure she knows how to protect herself alone, give her good sex information--(not myth and religion stuff--good information about what can and does happen) and then let her grow up on her own. She's going to make her own decisions some day anyway. As long as she lives under your roof and accepts your support, she needs to follow your curfew rules--but at age 18, she's legally allowed to be on her own--and all you can do is hope that she knows the right way to live.


Just a Question, about parenting a teenager?
i think you should sit her down and explain to her in detail the struggle you had having a baby young, how much time you had for yourself and everything you had to give up. that she needs to be able to live up to that responsibility if she is going to have sex. maybe even enroll her in a course in parenting so she knows what goes along with it. i had a child at 18 and i didnt realize the full responsibility. i think if someone would of sat down and told me alot of stuff i would be in a different situation but my son is the greatest thing that ever happend. just wish i would of waited a couple more years. also you should let her know to not be scared to come to you for birth control. i know no parents want there child to have a sex life but lets face it there g2 do what they want no matter how much we lecture them
She's your daughter, until she's 18, it's up to you.





You are her legal guardian, you make the rules.





Most State laws now include statutes about age differences in minors, so if she's 14, and starts dating a 18 year old, he literally can end up in jail.





I wasn't allowed to date at all until I was 16, (well, a Sophomore in High School), that seemed reasonable at the time, and would probably fly OK now.











Luck

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