My daughter just finished Day 2 of her freshman year of high school. She like it but it has only just started. Could anyone share their favorite, most tried and true, parenting tips to help us all survive the next four years?Tips for parenting a high schooler? - parents?
I am a single mother and I made it through my daughter's HS years with virtually no problems or drama. Seriously- I can count on one hand the number of times she came home crying about anything, she never told me ';I hate you- you're ruining my life,'; no STDs/pregnancy, no run ins with authority, AND no drugs or alcohol.
Of course I started from the day she was born but I'd have to say the most important thing was communication. Listen more than you talk, let her know she can tell you anything and you will not freak on her, validate her feelings, and show her you have faith in her ability to solve her own problems by holding back on giving advice at the drop of a hat.Tips for parenting a high schooler? - parents?
I am a junior in high school and i will tell you right now that times have changed. I had a teacher lie to my parents once, she yelled at my class all the time, and my parents didn't believe me. So i put a tape recorder in my back pack and the next time she started in, i pushed record and their was my evidence, for everyone to see. She ';retired'; about a year later. But the worst part of school by far has to be the students, kids are MEAN!!! I got really depressed and started doing anything just to fit in, which obviously got me into trouble. The best thing you can do is be their friend as often as you can, and i know i am just a high school student myself, but if my mom had been there for me when i needed it, who knows, i might not have taken alcohol to school just to impress some people. Luckily i got counseling and made friends, real friends, and my self confidence is higher than it ever has been. Just make sure you communicate, that is the most important thing.
im a high schooler and I know some teachers can be mean, and sometimes the kid lies. heck, i admit that myself. but, seriously, most likely they will have an easy time compared to middle and elementry. i don't really know what all to tell, but i go to a counselor to help me with stress. that maybe the best solution you can get from a student. also spend as much time with her when she feels comfortable enough to share whats going on. the only thing that high school incorporates on freshmen,sophomores, juniors, and seniors. Stress. other than stress issues, it will be the easiest time of school for anyone.
I am a mother of two but they are not in high school yet. All I can tell you from my years in high school it was hard and exhausting. I was teased up until sophomore year. So if you see signs of withdraw just find ways to boost her confidants in her self and listen to her. She will want to hang out with her friends more and confide in them more, but let her know you are there for her to. Try not to get upset with her if she starts talking about sex, and try not to make her feel uncomfortable to talk to you about the subject either. You need to give her all the knowledge she needs to keep her safe. I know this subject will be hard for you, but keep your cool and remember you were that age before. I have two cousins one is 16 and my brother is now 18 and graduated, and they felt uncomfortable asking questions to my mom or aunt about sex. I guess that's why they went to me if they had questions and I felt weird telling them what I have learned and know from my experiences, but I tried not to show I was uncomfortable too. Try to answer any questions about school ask her how her day was show interest in her and school good luck I hope this helps some.
the best thing you can do for her now that she's maturing through high school is to be there when she asks for help, and let her get on by herself when she asks for space. high school is kinda the survival of the fittest, and she needs to learn how the whole school with much older kids works. let her be her own person and support all of her opinions and decisions :)
In this time of her life is when she needs you the most. Here is when she'll start to make great choices that'll make up her character as a person. Just stay close to your daughter. Bond with her and always keep in touch with her everyday. Guide her through her problems and keep in mind that mistakes are supposed to happen in order for her to grow and learn. Just make sure you're there to help her get back on track when she falls.
Number 1 rule - patience
Early Freshman year is the transition time, but they are exposed to the older kids and start to liberate themselves (which they should). Once they observe the (typically) wider variety of kids in HS and those body changes kick in, they usually end up exploring and growing up more....sometimes crossing the line. Of course, it's our job to step in and not let them cross the ';wrong'; lines';.
I can say that I've probably grown up as much as my kids have, especially in the HS years. Patience on my part to let them explore, make their own mistakes (under the safety of my roof) and their patience with me, has helped thus far.
Best of luck!
i'm not a parent but i'm a little over 4 years out of high school so i still remember what it was like, vividly. the best advice i can give you is to keep communication open as much as you can. even if you daughter starts resisting your attempts, get her to open up regardless of what it's about. if it means listening to her ramble for 20 minutes about how her best friend's boyfriend is dating a girl they hate and blah blah blah...just listen and be interested! as boring as it may seem to you, that's her life for the next few years. so if she feels like you care about her life (as she sees it) then she'll be more likely to come to you about the important stuff. also talk to her about the big issues like sex, drinking, drugs, bullying, etc. sometimes talking about these issues as they apply to a 3rd party helps teens open up more. so if you watch a tv show or movie together that applies some of these issues, try to get her to tell you how she feels about it and if she's had any experiences dealing with something similar.
oh and who she's friends with will tell you everything you need to know about what she is/isn't doing...for the most part anyway. if you feel like you know and can trust her friends, you can relax a little. that's not to say that they might not still experiment and get into some trouble but if they're all good kids in general they'll be smart enough not to get into anything to serious.
my 16 year old self would kill me for saying this...but if you can, be in contact with her friend's parents as well. the only time i was able to get away with anything as a teen was when i told my mom i was staying at *jamie*'s house and *jamie* told her mom she was staying at mine. see what i'm saying?
one big thing as well...if you made it through middle school without any major behavioral or attitude problems, you've survived the worst. just keep doing what you're doing!
I know you wanted parent's help...but I am going to answer anyway.
I am a freshman...so this is what i want my mom to do for me, what i don't like, and yeah....
Trust your daughter. Be there when she makes mistakes even if they are bad. Don't be your daughters ';friend'; I HATE that! My mom isn't my friend she's my mom. I tell my mom alot of stuff which makes is easy to ask for advice and she has good advice cuz she's been through stuff. Basically just realize that she's a teen let her have some freedom but not too much. and communicate. I hope i helped...although those are really parenting tips. Sorry!
I'm not a parent but I have done a lot of research on teens primarily young women. I on the path to becoming a high school counselor. Stay away from analogies, high schoolers hate them. They would rather hear the truth than a story. Listen to her and let her know you heard what she was saying. Never discount what she says, if it's about how Susie doesn't want to be her friend anymore or how Joey likes another girl. And the biggest one of all always be there for her no matter what mistakes she make and never stop communicating.
well the snotty years are coming, the new attitude snotty years i mean
long gone are the days of real snotty noses, and here comes the attitude
sometimes it's hard to deal with teenagers and their attitudes. in our house it's always worked best to be consistent in our rules and love for the kids, regardless of their moods (ohhhh it's hard!)
we try to keep in mind that they are just trying to find themselves etc etc
it's a tough world out there, so we try to keep that in mind too
good luck
im not a parent but im a Jr in High school one more year for me yay!!! honestly i didn't think i was gone to make it threw high school so much drama and its all the girls it your dating my boy friend your looking at him wrong sally said this and tommy did this all threw high school any more so my advice would be to talk to her everyday and make her tell you what she thinks and if she having problems and make sure she knows you there to talk
ok i am young only in the 5th grade but i will tell you that my 2 sister and my 1 brother already going through it well my sister is still going through it and i have watched my mom and stuff handle the things all you have to do is give faith in your daughter and what ever you do don't give up on her
high school is horrible..i dunno what miracle she made to make it an amazing day.
its my 2nd day there too.
and i absolutley hate it.
people are really arrogant and mean.
if you dont dress nice then alot of people wont talk to you.
so yeah.
shes prolly gonna go into phases with trying to be popular and stuff.
its only the 2 day, if she focus on doing qood and who she wants to be now and who she wants to be later on in the future that could help her for the next four years. things could ge rough and hard just be yoursellf
im a freshman too and today was my second day.
just tell her to focus on school and stuff and tell her to make friends in all her classes so shes not alone.
I am a teen boy, to tell you the truth, i ride an emotional rollar coaster every day. Support her and give her freedom.
honestly - it'll be hell. Just, always believe the teachers. They're not going to lie - your kid will.
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