Any good advice for step-parenting? I am getting married in a few months and my fiance has 3 adulst girls.....

They are 26, 23, and 20. I have a 13, and 10 year old and we have a 6 month old together. The resentment is obviously there where his girls are concerned. I have done all i can to try to make the transition better for them, but they have been very distant not just from me and their baby sister but from their dad too. I feel horrible but just dont know what else to do. Ugggggh what to do???? Anyway just wanting to know if anyone has been stuck in this sort of dilema...Thanks!Any good advice for step-parenting? I am getting married in a few months and my fiance has 3 adulst girls.....
From my POV, you need to stop trying and leave them alone. Obviously they are not ready to accept you, and you chasing them down is just making it worse.





My dad started dating a woman about three years ago that drove me nuts for about the first year or so. She was constantly trying to beg, pleed, worm, and suck up to me, which was irritating, but then she also mixed it in with a creepy overbearing desire to be my mom. I was 19 at the time and that was such a huge turn off. I didn't even let my actual mother parent me that much, plus I was a responsible sophomore in college with a high GPA and did not need that much active parenting.





I really really disliked her, in fact I made fun of her to all my friends and hated seeing her with my dad. Then one day she just woke up and stopped trying to parent me or work her way into my good graces. She stoped trying to force conversation. She stoped giving me invasive personal life advice.





It still took some time, but with some space I really could see that she made my dad happy, and from there I got to know her as a person. That was how I got to see how wonderful she really was and now we're more then just step relations, we're friends.





At that age, you don't have to worry about step parenting because you wont be parenting them, so loose that idea right there. You will NEVER be a parent to them. You'll probably always be their dad's wife. The best you can hope for is to be their friend some day, but like any other friendship, you can't force it. Give them some serious space (like 6 months to a year of it) and keep things to a non-personal level of friendly and see what happens.Any good advice for step-parenting? I am getting married in a few months and my fiance has 3 adulst girls.....
Just be polite to them if you have to be at social gatherings where they are, but don't kiss their butts. They are adults, and should be more mature than that by now. And don't offer any help to them that you know will not be appreciated, they will only use you if they realize they can.
As they say....been there, done that.





The reality is, there just isn't much you can do but give it time. There just isn't anything magical you can do or any profound words that will change their attitude toward you. In fact if you try to hard it will have the oppisite effect. You will cause more angst and resentment.





Just be yourself and give it time. Eventually they will see you for the person you are.
Just be nice and constant, good to their father and offer help to them. They are old enough that their father's relationships are none of their business. (Don't tell them that!) If they don't come around, it's their loss.





They have a young sibling to think about, too. Maybe that could be an icebreaker.
When I got married my husband had a little girl. She's 11 now. And I will tell you either they like you or they don't. If they don't that's there problem. Don't stress yourself out trying get them to like you. They are groan. they should know better
Never disrespect ex spouse in front of children (no matter how old). Do you best treat all the children equally. No easy task.And if the step children do not like you there is nothing you can do to change there mind so don't waste the oxygen tring
Listen to what your children say and more importantly what they don't say you can only guide them, they will make their own choices, you can only teach by example. Love them and stand beside them, discuss things without it becoming a screaming match, remind them that whatever higher self or being you belive in loves them too and wants them to make the proper choices and that forgiveness is opening the door for friendship and love. Each one of yours and your husbands children will have to work things out between themself, try to show each mutual respect. and good luck!!
As you read they r grown. You canonly be good to them if they let you. i find thatthe step parent is always the bad person no mater what. Try not to worry too much because it will not change a thing. Try alot of prayer. I know i am. It is also up to your hubby how he controls his own children in respect for you and it may be need known that he is not leaving you for them and he is not leaving them for you. I believe ther will be tension quite often just try to dbe the best u can and remember not anyone is perfect. Keep your chin up mom!
Try to put your self in there shoes how would you feel if the situation was reversed. They might be adults but this is steel there dad they might feel that by you marring him you are trying to take there moms place. Try sitting down one on one and explaining how you feel and letting them tell you how they feel without juging them. Also there dad needs to talk with them. If that doesn't work both of you need to present a united front don't let them tear you apart. DO NOT let them put you or your kids down.